♕ nothing's impossible

Sooo, i am really unhappy with my body, with me and my life. I  don't even know how things get this bad, but it happend, so I only have one decision to make. Should I go on like this or should I just die? Maybe there's a third solution. To get help. But I don't think that I NEED HELP. I don't try to kill myself, till now and I am clean for 3 months and 2 weeks, so I don't need help.

I am nothing special, so my life isn't that too. When I leave no one would cry or miss me, so I think. It doesn't matter if I live or die. Don't know. 

So, I go to bed now and I hope I won't wake up tomorrow, but I think I will wake up tomorrow morning. Bad thing, because life is really hard and difficult.
Maybe there are people who love me, but I can't believe them. It's a circle which never ends. Lots of people said that they love me, but they didn't mean it from their heart. So, I can't trust anybody. I wish I could. I wish my life don't went like this, but it does. Damn shit.